I don’t know when it started,
The beating, touching and kissing,
I don’t know if you knew,
But there was something missing.
You were the missing piece,
So I stood up for all,
I needed you to stand for me
And help me not to fall.
You wouldn’t or you couldn’t,
Whichever word fits right,
Just fill the blank space in,
But you were out of sight.
The days slipped by,
He’d grab the belt,
You heard the cries,
You saw me melt.
How did you block
Your own child’s yell,
Disappear into a corner,
And never tell?
Did you lock it inside?
Did your heart swell?
Did you feel anything?
When I felt Hell?
Was there any compassion?
Did it hurt you too?
When my legs ripped apart,
And my heart fell in two.
I called you once,
But you were not found.
I yelled out your name,
But it was just sound.
A fight would break out,
And where would you go?
I searched for your face,
For comfort to know,
That I was not the problem,
I was not the source of pain.
I did not cause it
And I’m not insane.
I didn’t hear those words
No, not one
It’s my fault, I heard,
And I wanted to run.
Run far away from home,
But I didn’t think I’d make it,
So I ran in my head,
And I learned how to fake it.
I’m not faking it anymore.
I will not live that lie.
I’ve discovered integrity,
It’s what you can’t buy.
No bribe will make it better,
No present will present will push it aside.
I’m living in truth now
And learning not to hide.
Though you choose to remain silent,
I choose a different way.
I’m sorry it hurts you,
But here is not where I stay!
By Diana